@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
