dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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