im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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