8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Someone signed my nipple.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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