I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
