Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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