Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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