Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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