Swine flu. Run for my life!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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