how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry about my life...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
