You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
