belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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