I just made out with a guy for $7.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
