chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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