she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
