Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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