I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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