Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
how does that bad decision feel?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
