it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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