I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
