You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
