Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
