I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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