pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize