Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You took a bar mat shot.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
