Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
