Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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