You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
