No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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