Don't you send me to vm
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
