these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
