Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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