"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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