I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The air was thick with penises
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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