There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Randomize
