I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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