I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
