Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
