You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
