i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
