Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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