Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize