i think i have two assholes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
