Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
