Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
