And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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