If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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