you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
