I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
