i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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