I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
