im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
