That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
