Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
