she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
