entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
