She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
