No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
