There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
